Just Kidding

It’s been two decades since I first arrived in this three dimensional world of ours, my entry wasn’t exactly graceful, I remember being very exasperated and using the little strength I had in crying but in my defense a nice juicy slap on my butt was not exactly the kind of welcome I was expecting, the doctor responsible for my predicament was really enjoying herself it’s been twenty years and I still remember the sadistic grin on her face. The first couple of months were mostly spent in sleeping,  I needed some time to adjust to my new surroundings, the next few months were the golden phase I literally didn’t have to do anything it was like I was on auto pilot mode my life moved forward without any effort from my side, what I  enjoyed most was when someone tried to teach me to speak they would keep on saying  “papa” and “mama” over and over again while I would just blankly stare back  trying to conceal my laughter , sometimes when I really felt like messing with them as soon as they would stop I would mumble something  gibberish and they would start all over again. Oh those were some good days.

Now  the thing is, good days are like trial version of a very expensive software as soon as you get used to them they come to  an end and start demanding  unreasonable prices. One fine morning my parents came to a not so fine conclusion that I was too heavy to be carried around and must learn to walk, all my resistance was in vain and just like that my golden phase came to an end. As it turned out learning to walk wasn’t all that terrible. It gave me my first taste of freedom, now I could grab that that distant paperweight kept on that distant table, examine its features, play with it or ‘accidentally’ break it, one of my several ways of getting back at my parents for ending my golden phase. The possibilities seemed endless, one of my favorite vengeful activity was to hide or throw away footwear of the guests who visited my home, apparently if people are leaving and someone is unable to find his/her shoes/sandal the whole bunch gets really annoyed, soon I realized that all I needed was to hide just one of the two not the whole pair.

 Soon my acts of rebellion took a toll on my parents and they began punishing me, initially the punishments were mild like not going out to play or no cartoon, they were a breeze I would always find something more interesting to do that would annoy my parents even more, unfortunately for me my mother soon realized how impotent these punishments were and resorted to more physical ones, I still remember the first time mother slapped me, the sheer shock caused by this action of hers made my mind go completely blank, it was like I had forgotten the art of speech but soon enough fear kicked in, fear of the next slap and it was then I began with the water works, I could see the remorse on her face. There are a lot of great things about being a single child but if one has no siblings one cannot blame anyone else for the broken flower vase or the missing chocolate biscuits no matter how good a liar one is, oh yeah lying was the first thing fear taught me, so the slaps kept on coming but the really frightening thing was that the remorse I first saw on her face was no longer present. Sometimes I would run away from her, in the early days she used to out run me and when she no longer could I realized I had nowhere to go. It’s amazing that it never really occurred to me that I could stop my shenanigans, the only thing the slaps were able to do was generate fear loads of fear but the problem was that fear to a kid is like a bollywood cop it always appears after the screw up has been performed, when it’s too late. All in all being a baby boy was fun, all this writing has made me nostalgic so you better keep an eye on your shoes.

The Boy

There once was a boy, oh what a jolly good guy. He used to be a happy little kid, sadness to him was like a cool breeze it never stayed long, he talked of the world and it’s people, he talked about his dreams and his aspirations. Music touched his soul chocolates his taste buds, he was loving and innocent thought the world was kind and gentle, oh what a foolish boy he was…..

The boy loved his life and the way he lived it, he loved that he was free, he loved the serene ambience and the fact that he could truly appreciate it, he loved the little pleasures of life and his ability to notice them, he loved his friends and family and their loving him back, he loved that people cared, he loved that he was aware, oh what a naïve boy he was……

Time flew and very soon the little boy was thrown into school, he was amazed to see so many like him, he was amazed to see so many cry, he was amazed by the revelation that he was no longer the center of attention. He looked around and there was no one familiar to be found, the new world was not what he had hoped at the start, the teachers did not find him all that smart, the next day he resisted his return but his parents where unreasonably stubborn, he solved the mystery, now he knew why so many cry even he gave it a try, he felt a bit better even the teachers seemed to care, oh what a clever boy he was…..

A few months had gone, the boy seemed to be having some fun, but that did not live long because very soon a monster came along, they called it ‘THE EXAM’. The attack came as a complete surprise, the boy worked for days without respite, the boy fought a losing battle, in the end he was left completely shattered, he forgot all about his dreams and aspiration, he could no longer take pleasure in the little things, freedom was not his anymore, oh what a lost boy he was…..

Years have passed the boy has grown into a young man, but he is still held captive by the monster named ‘THE EXAM’, all his attempt to breakaway has gone in vain, he lives in eternal pain, but the young man is still hanging on, losing battles after battles yet hoping to eventually win the war that’s going on, every once in a while he thinks of the boy that once was, oh what a jolly good guy he was……

PS:  The monster is back so I wont be writig for a while

Just a Thought

The human brain approximately weighs 1600 grams, it’s essentially a walnut shaped lump of neurons, widely considered as nature’s best work, but considering the fact that we humans are the only party allowed to vote I have my doubts but certainly it is one of the best if not the best. I fail to notice any innovation in the designing part, guess nature is not a firm believer in out the box thinking but I like the fact that it is compact, very aptly located at the top of our body it is supposed to be the controller of all our voluntary and involuntary actions, just like us it is unreasonably demanding, it requires up to 20-25% of our body’s oxygen to function properly no wonder we are the most greedy and demanding species of our planet. The world that we live in is the creation of our brain, there are questions on how real our surroundings are but real or illusion the fact remains we have to deal with it, so what makes our brains so much better than those of the other species, there are a number of things that makes it superior but if I have to pick one that really sets it apart then it has to be our imagination, our ability to visualize things and events that aren’t happening.

What I find really difficult to fathom is the fact that how little we use this instrument of ours. It is amazing how much stupidity is happening in and around us, just rotate your head within a range of 180 degrees and I am sure you can spot an imbecile.  It’s like owning a Porsche yet driving an Ambassador. The fact is that routine has completely overpowered human life. Thinking has been made redundant just 1% of the people   are doing the thinking for our entire population, the major side effect of routine is the depletion of our ability to think, from the moment we are born we are discouraged to use our brains in the name of manners and good habits, everything has been decided there is absolutely no need to flex our neurons and before we know it we are completely lost in our routines. It is so intricately entwined with our day to day life that one can go through his entire life without sparing a moment to think. We are so used to the idea of routine that it almost seems natural, completely oblivious of the it’s adverse effects we try to fit ourselves in the routine, we even condition our involuntary events like hunger to follow a routine, I remember visiting a relative’s place, I was ten and around 1 am I found my stomach making weird noises after the initial confusion and panic I finally came to the conclusion that I was hungry, I reported the matter to my mother, she seemed almost annoyed by the revelation, “this is no time to be hungry, you should have finished your supper” “but mummy I am very hungry” was my argument followed by the cute little boy look, the look worked my mother obliges but food comes along with a group lesson from all the elders about my need to eat at the right time.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not saying that we must start living like nomads, routine works, it  brings some order in this already chaotic world, it is a very efficient mechanism that keeps the world running in fact it is so good that it has ended up controlling us and there lies the problem, all I want to say is that every once in a while we can use the instrument residing within our head, just stop and think  what am I doing and why I am doing it? Use routines to attain your goals don’t make attaining a routine your goal.

PS: I never intended to preach, it just happened and now it's too late.

The Good Score

Well…….here is the thing with me and good scores, we don’t get along. If you ever see a good score on the results it is highly unlikely my name’s beside it. We have been adversaries for a very long time now, it’s not like I have never tried to reconcile but good scores aren’t exactly amiable. I have tried to talk through our differences several times but they makes unreasonable demands and  stubbornly stick to them turning a deaf ear to all my arguments. I remember my first encounter with a good score, I was in kindergarten, it was sitting just ahead of me right beside THE KID who lived next door. I hated him my mother always used to talk about what a good boy he was, ”Look at him, he is playing scrabble and all you do is watch those stupid cartoons. Do you even know what claustrophobic means?”. Unable to answer I drown in ignominy, running away from her convinced she hates me I stop only at the sight of television, watching Spiderman kick the green goblin's ass helps me restore my sense of pride. My imagination takes over me, I become Spiderman, I go to THE KID’s house beat him at scrabble and then throw him and his idiotic scrabble out the building, Spiderman saves the day and in the process wins the admiration of his mother, anyways lets go back to the classroom THE KID and good scores immediately hit it off, they seemed to have chemistry. In the meanwhile I saw a bunch of poor scores standing in the corner of a room completely neglected I got sympathetic and decided to give them a seat beside me, hey what did I know I was a foolish little kid, I later found out that good scores and poor scores are not exactly the best of friends and good scores were really pissed because I chose poor scores over them, I couldn’t care less but it turned out my parents thought otherwise apparently being in company of good scores was of utmost importance, as the next examination approached I was under a lot of pressure from my parents, in desperation I swallowed my pride and decided to mitigate my relationship with good scores. They put forth three very specific conditions the fulfillment of which would make me eligible for their company.
First: I must sever all ties with poor scores.
Second: We must have at least one common friend.
Third: This was the toughest and the most important one, I must study.
I reluctantly complied, I studied to the best of my abilities and even made friends with THE KID but those back-stabbing good scores rejected me on the day of the result, even the poor scores turned their back on me and I was stuck with the stickiest of them all mediocre score